PNEUMONIA

On yet another morning of one of those pleasant Sundays, I was happily reading some novel and avoiding all those domestic jobs which were conveniently postponed to Sunday. I strategically never commit any date of completing the work to my wife… instead, I commit a day and take advantage of  the ambiguity generated. I was quite happy as the company I work for, had recently allotted me a car. My wife was feeling quite proud and rich. I heard the sound of an intermittent light drizzle which was rather surprising, as I have stopped believing that it could ever rain in this New Town where everything looked so old! . My curiosity grew. Finally, I got up and presented myself in the front courtyard of our house where I saw my 5 year old son, with a water. hosepipe in one hand and new Surf Excel detergent powder pouch in the other. He was positioned on the roof top of the car. He had launched an ‘Operation cleaning’ on my 12-year old Ambassador car and in the process was spraying water on every accessible part of the car. Unaware of the situation outside, my wife was engrossed in improving the interior aesthetics of the car. I ordered my son to abandon his water play. He flatly refused .I increased the volume of my voice and he retorted in the negation, at a higher volume,. I finally gave up!

I started looking around for the daily newspaper. Waiting for the newspaper on Sunday morning is perhaps very annoying, as that is the only day when something worth reading appears in the paper and one is not in hurry, but invariably the Sunday newspaper is delivered late. I gave a satisfied look at my car ….a fresh dent on the front left portion was somewhat awful but otherwise the car was glittering in the morning sun. I too joined the ‘Operation Cleaning’ and grabbed the  captured Surf Excel pouch while just managing to save myself from slipping in the pool of water.

Inspired by our enthusiasm my over zealous colleague cum next door neighbor also launched on a similar operation on his car and soon the entire surroundings started getting flooded. My only worry was that the newspaper would  be ruthlessly delivered in this ever-expanding pool of water. I could not therefore take the risk of leaving the place. My son was still sprinkling water hither and thither … I had another round of counseling with him but in vain ….. I even ended up bribing him with a large sized chocolate and raised the stakes with some Coke/Pepsi but all my negotiations failed for he not only refused to give up but threatened to spray water on me instead. Better though late , my common sense came to my rescue …I quickly went inside and closed the tap thus cutting off the water supply. Perhaps that was the only thing any helpless father could have done in such similar conditions. By the time I arrived back to the scene two unwanted things had happened - my son was bawling and appealing to the ‘High court’ and the newspaper was floating in the pool of water!

Fortunately at that time “Rangoli “a program of old Hindi movie songs, commenced on TV. This averted any more confrontations as my son and wife disappeared from the scene. I picked up the soaked newspaper and noticed R.K. Laxman’s cartoon of the ‘Common Man’, which instantly changed my mood… next I proceeded to read some ‘stupid news’ and almost tore the paper in a hurry to read about my fate in  the weekly predictions page. It said ”Pleasant beginning of the week”… Yeah, how true it was! I happened to notice  that my son had stopped crying on being offered ‘ Maggie noodles ‘ in the advertised 2 minutes timing by his doting “Mamma”. I continued to read what fate had in store for me…..”You will meet someone of opposite sex at a picnic or while traveling…….”Your vehicle will pose a problem“ ...… Ignoring the last sentence, I gave a sympathetic look towards my car and shrugged the possibility of anything going wrong again!

After a bath and watching the mega saga “Mahabharata“ my mind was refreshed and there was no room for any evil thoughts. Without losing any time I proposed to go for a picnic. The proposal was unanimously accepted by my family and an hour later my son and I were loading the car with a variety of things like the jumbo water jug, a multitude of lunch boxes, some fruits, a cricket bat and ball, Badminton rackets and shuttle cocks, a flying saucer (Frisbee), a fishing rope, a couple of mats, our constant companion on long trips – the tape recorder(and tapes) and a camera.

I was in uplifted spirits / in a cheerful mood as not only I had succeeded in avoiding my Sunday chores but had doubled the prospect of meeting a specimen of the fairer sex  at the picnic . I settled on the driver’s seat and my wife proudly stepped in by my side. My son was already on the rear seat busy reading his “Chacha chaudhari” comic. I turned on the ignition to commence our journey. 

Alas! It did not work. I tried again but the Car refused to start. I knew that people open the bonnet and peep inside when something in the car goes wrong. So I opened the bonnet and started peeping inside. I watched the things inside carefully, randomly opened and closed some unknown parts, tried to tighten some electrical connections and tried to re-start the car. With no success. Then I peeped inside the bonnet helplessly for quite some time and even ended up spoiling my new shirt in the bargain. Lady Luck did not favor me . It was not from my side. After about 40 minutes, I gave up.!

Left with no alternative other than watching TV programs at home, I unloaded all the recently loaded variety of items but this time without any support from my son, washed my hands and shirt with the left over Surf Excel powder and finally settled down in front of the Idiot box. All along, I was thinking “What could have gone wrong with the car this time …...Suspension, Differential, Engine overhauling, Electrical, everything was carefully done and was expected to be in order.. Even the tyre  inflation was checked and corrected! Yet, why did the car not start….what could have gone wrong?” I kept on thinking hard ………..and suddenly my wisdom prevailed again.   I got it…….and  I had already started for reaching to the Doctor, believing that the car must have caught Pneumonia!!!

R J Phansalkar Faridabad,  Jan 21 1989