Changing Style

Great persons have said many great things for reasons best known to them …but surely they did not have the slightest idea that their thoughts would be later displayed everywhere. ‘Quotable quotes’ of great people are invariably put down in a nice decorative print, properly enclosed within a pair of inverted commas. These Quotes and thoughts are invaluable and priceless and are perhaps the brightest black jewels!

These Quotable quotes and great thoughts really improve the aesthetics of the surroundings of any work place, when displayed in a colorful style. However they should not be only viewed as ordinary decorative articles like beautiful flower vases, or any other commercial ornamental articles. If this is not borne in mind, the great thoughts will simply remain hanging on the walls . On the other hand , excessive zeal in practicing these quotes can be dangerous and will not yield the desired results.

“Your actions could be harmful if your purpose is harmless”. This was one Quote , the truth of which I learned by experience. In the learning process I was almost in danger of losing some of my vital organs. It happened one fine evening while I was having dinner with one of my old pals. The place where we were dining was quite decent with plenty of sweet scented beauties around for us to admire. I was enjoying the scrumptious chicken dish while focusing my attention on some of those beauties , my action and purpose both being harmless ! My friend was happily giving me a lecture and unwarranted advice, quoting his own examples of how he tackled difficult situations and indirectly suggesting to me about how stupid I was. Poor chap! Little did he know how wise I was! He also did not know that I am one of those fortunate ones who can tolerate any nonsense while tucking in a good meal …so while I was enjoying the chicken leg thoroughly my friend’s advice dished out a monotonous drone, succeeded in preventing me from enjoying the music and the ambivalence. I recollected another quote “Ignorance is the biggest insult” and so I shut my ears. Some steaming hot filter coffee /espresso/cappuccino or an Ice cream  for desert is what I relish after every good dinner. So despite my friend’s continuous chirping I ordered some coffee. Thus unknowingly, I started practicing another great thought - “Patience is a great virtue!”

While sipping coffee, I was rather amused every time , the short listed beauty unnecessarily, played with her hair. My friend, who has almost become my foe by then, was still disturbing my happiness, in the candle lit romantic atmosphere. Suddenly the music was switched off and I was almost forced to pay attention to my friend’s mono-logs. Disinterested in his illogical banter, I started concentrating on a different type of music…..a humming sound of two mosquitoes.! This music was more interesting than my friend’s non-stop chatter. I soon I started following the trajectories of my newly acquired flying friends. One of them landed on the left cheek of my friend . Soon the second creature joined its brother….Before I could say “Blink”, a great idea struck in mind! ...Here was my chance to do a good deed . So what if I have to slap my friend in the bargain ?...... My purpose was harmless though the action would prove harmful. Moreover, I knew another Quote ”Opportunity knocks on the door only once and if not  used it never returns”. I got up on my feet to be in a strategic position to slay those miserable insects and was about to practice two great thoughts in one stroke of action ……but my friend was too quick for me. He misunderstood…or I should say correctly understood my intention and actions and reacted so violently that I almost lost my teeth. I did not know the purpose behind my friend’s actions but his action was really harmful! Perhaps he knew “The best way of defense is to attack” !!

Needless to say that I am extremely cautious now while practicing any great thoughts, after nursing my painful jaw for several days.

Quotes like “Better late than Never” , “Time is Money” ,”Many drops make an Ocean” etc. tend to cause irritation as all these are used only for preaching. Not a soul practices them. This could be because in order to practice any great thing ,one has to change his/her style of functioning and the truth is for changing one’s style, utmost determination and dedication is required, unlike preaching .There is always an inherent resistance in almost each of us to any change…. though “Change is the only constant thing in this world” !

The other day, I read in TheTtimes Of India-

“In matters of grave importance , Style and not Sincerity is the vital thing “

How very true is this!. Sincerity is necessary but that alone will do little wonders .These days many people have realized this and are in the process of changing their styles. I too want to

change mine…but while doing so I do remember my aching jaw !

PNEUMONIA

On yet another morning of one of those pleasant Sundays, I was happily reading some novel and avoiding all those domestic jobs which were conveniently postponed to Sunday. I strategically never commit any date of completing the work to my wife… instead, I commit a day and take advantage of  the ambiguity generated. I was quite happy as the company I work for, had recently allotted me a car. My wife was feeling quite proud and rich. I heard the sound of an intermittent light drizzle which was rather surprising, as I have stopped believing that it could ever rain in this New Town where everything looked so old! . My curiosity grew. Finally, I got up and presented myself in the front courtyard of our house where I saw my 5 year old son, with a water. hosepipe in one hand and new Surf Excel detergent powder pouch in the other. He was positioned on the roof top of the car. He had launched an ‘Operation cleaning’ on my 12-year old Ambassador car and in the process was spraying water on every accessible part of the car. Unaware of the situation outside, my wife was engrossed in improving the interior aesthetics of the car. I ordered my son to abandon his water play. He flatly refused .I increased the volume of my voice and he retorted in the negation, at a higher volume,. I finally gave up!

I started looking around for the daily newspaper. Waiting for the newspaper on Sunday morning is perhaps very annoying, as that is the only day when something worth reading appears in the paper and one is not in hurry, but invariably the Sunday newspaper is delivered late. I gave a satisfied look at my car ….a fresh dent on the front left portion was somewhat awful but otherwise the car was glittering in the morning sun. I too joined the ‘Operation Cleaning’ and grabbed the  captured Surf Excel pouch while just managing to save myself from slipping in the pool of water.

Inspired by our enthusiasm my over zealous colleague cum next door neighbor also launched on a similar operation on his car and soon the entire surroundings started getting flooded. My only worry was that the newspaper would  be ruthlessly delivered in this ever-expanding pool of water. I could not therefore take the risk of leaving the place. My son was still sprinkling water hither and thither … I had another round of counseling with him but in vain ….. I even ended up bribing him with a large sized chocolate and raised the stakes with some Coke/Pepsi but all my negotiations failed for he not only refused to give up but threatened to spray water on me instead. Better though late , my common sense came to my rescue …I quickly went inside and closed the tap thus cutting off the water supply. Perhaps that was the only thing any helpless father could have done in such similar conditions. By the time I arrived back to the scene two unwanted things had happened - my son was bawling and appealing to the ‘High court’ and the newspaper was floating in the pool of water!

Fortunately at that time “Rangoli “a program of old Hindi movie songs, commenced on TV. This averted any more confrontations as my son and wife disappeared from the scene. I picked up the soaked newspaper and noticed R.K. Laxman’s cartoon of the ‘Common Man’, which instantly changed my mood… next I proceeded to read some ‘stupid news’ and almost tore the paper in a hurry to read about my fate in  the weekly predictions page. It said ”Pleasant beginning of the week”… Yeah, how true it was! I happened to notice  that my son had stopped crying on being offered ‘ Maggie noodles ‘ in the advertised 2 minutes timing by his doting “Mamma”. I continued to read what fate had in store for me…..”You will meet someone of opposite sex at a picnic or while traveling…….”Your vehicle will pose a problem“ ...… Ignoring the last sentence, I gave a sympathetic look towards my car and shrugged the possibility of anything going wrong again!

After a bath and watching the mega saga “Mahabharata“ my mind was refreshed and there was no room for any evil thoughts. Without losing any time I proposed to go for a picnic. The proposal was unanimously accepted by my family and an hour later my son and I were loading the car with a variety of things like the jumbo water jug, a multitude of lunch boxes, some fruits, a cricket bat and ball, Badminton rackets and shuttle cocks, a flying saucer (Frisbee), a fishing rope, a couple of mats, our constant companion on long trips – the tape recorder(and tapes) and a camera.

I was in uplifted spirits / in a cheerful mood as not only I had succeeded in avoiding my Sunday chores but had doubled the prospect of meeting a specimen of the fairer sex  at the picnic . I settled on the driver’s seat and my wife proudly stepped in by my side. My son was already on the rear seat busy reading his “Chacha chaudhari” comic. I turned on the ignition to commence our journey. 

Alas! It did not work. I tried again but the Car refused to start. I knew that people open the bonnet and peep inside when something in the car goes wrong. So I opened the bonnet and started peeping inside. I watched the things inside carefully, randomly opened and closed some unknown parts, tried to tighten some electrical connections and tried to re-start the car. With no success. Then I peeped inside the bonnet helplessly for quite some time and even ended up spoiling my new shirt in the bargain. Lady Luck did not favor me . It was not from my side. After about 40 minutes, I gave up.!

Left with no alternative other than watching TV programs at home, I unloaded all the recently loaded variety of items but this time without any support from my son, washed my hands and shirt with the left over Surf Excel powder and finally settled down in front of the Idiot box. All along, I was thinking “What could have gone wrong with the car this time …...Suspension, Differential, Engine overhauling, Electrical, everything was carefully done and was expected to be in order.. Even the tyre  inflation was checked and corrected! Yet, why did the car not start….what could have gone wrong?” I kept on thinking hard ………..and suddenly my wisdom prevailed again.   I got it…….and  I had already started for reaching to the Doctor, believing that the car must have caught Pneumonia!!!

R J Phansalkar Faridabad,  Jan 21 1989

THE TELEGRAM

It was quite late in the night when I was about to call it a day ! Having identified the murderer in yet another Perry Mason’s novel, I was rather elated about my intellect. I was all alone at home. It was raining cats and dogs outside …I yawned and stretched myself and our cute pussy cat and its cuddly kittens almost imitated my actions when someone knocked at the front door. Surely it couldn't be Paul Drake ! I was rather fantasizing myself in Perry Mason’s role without any Della Street around ! The knocking persisted directly proportional to the level of my curiosity. “Who could it be at this odd hour?” I said to myself trying to gauge the situation. Exercising the safety first approach I peeped from the window and saw a stranger. The stranger announced he was a postman and wants to deliver a telegram. I bravely opened the door and permitted the completely soaked postman to come in. He promptly produced a paper and demanded for my signature. I refused to use the Postman’s pen and proudly picked my very own cherished Parker  pen. I signed the acknowledgement and received the telegram. There was still some of Perry Mason’s hangover and I was in the mood of giving a $ 10 bill to poor old man who was doing his duty religiously, even in this weather at that unearthly hour. However, as soon as the signing ceremony was completed the postman vanished into thin air, to his next destination,  I presumed . I was rather touched… Just then the touch of cat and kittens rubbing against my legs brought me back to reality. I then opened the telegram but alas, before I could read through it there was power failure!

I sat in the darkness hoping that better luck would prevail. When nothing of this sort happened I started thinking of a solution seriously. The only way to know what was in the telegram was to read it….. which meant I must overcome the darkness which was the root cause of my inability to peruse. This meant that I had to find a match box and a candle (the immediate solution to combating a power failure in those days). Even in those moments of great worry, I patted myself for my ability to think logically and launched the search, for the two most critical items in absolute darkness . The task seemed Herculean yet was not impossible thanks to our habit of placing a match box and candle at several strategic locations in our house. My gratitude extended to the Electricity Departments’ regularity in power cuts in our city as well as the wisdom of my wife who was away. After banging my forehead and elbow against some protruding invisible objects, I managed to reach what seemed like treasure at that point of time – the match box and candle. Without wasting any precious time, I lit the candle which illuminated the room…and I  discovered that during the search operation, I have misplaced the telegram . It was rather frustrating if not disgusting as I must admit that this was not the first time I had misplaced any important paper.

Needless to say I get extremely annoyed…..when such things happen …and off late they are happening too frequently…..In such situations, I normally take a deep breath and calmly recollect all my actions and store them in my memory. Resorting to this technique, I now took a deep breath… I knew from experience that items lost out of the blue can be retrieved if one rewinds one’s memory for all of one’s recent actions, in and replays them.. The ‘action replay’ started and I began moving in the illuminated room traversing the same path that I had taken earlier, in the darkness. In this process I allowed my forehead and elbow to bang for a second time. The cats were merely watching the long shadows without giving any importance to the situation. If they were dogs instead, they would have surely barked the whole house down and would have increased the confusion, believing they were helping their master. The time was trickling……I was rather becoming nervous when lo behold my “rewinding and replaying” theory worked! yet again ! I was beaming with the telegram in my injured hand. Meanwhile, a cool breeze did its job and I found myself once again in the dark - about 12 feet away from the place where I had  installed  the candle . Anticipating such natural calamities, I had cautiously kept the match box in my pocket hence I could easily reach up to the candle, without any additional planned or unplanned collisions! At last I was in a position to read the telegram.

It hardly took a second or two to read through the message but on completion of this the suspense and confusion were  raised to new heights. All that was written in the telegram was number “FIVE” and my wife’s name. I could not make head nor tail from this cryptic message.The need of the hour demanded careful analysis of the situation. I decided to apply my brain at its best and asked a couple of “Whys”

• Why should my wife send me such an absurd telegram?

• Why did the postman deliver it in the night, even though it was raining?

These two “Whys” did not help. The general characteristic of any telegram is that it contains 4 or 5 words of which at least one is miss spelled, one is illegible and the remaining are confusing. Rarely, is any telegram legible and the only time you find it legible is when the message is delivered late, after its relevance is lost . I gave some more inputs to my brain from my bitter memories …they did not help either, as the telegram I read had only two words. I started thinking hard .The words “number “5 had become a mystery and I decided to drive to city telegraph office in order to get the message decoded.

The power supply was restored and our two helping neighbors inquired with straight and serious faces about the telegram. I had nothing to hide from them so I simply produced that mysterious piece of paper. There were some collective and individual attempts to decode the puzzle .Finally, everyone advised me to go to city telegraph office. Needless to say, I appreciated my own quick decision making capability!

Before starting , I quickly gathered things like the car keys, my wallet, the torch, my raincoat etc. One of the neighbors inquired how come I had a raincoat in this city but I left him to guess about it, as I was in hurry. I started my car which to my surprise fortunately posed no problems. They say “Luck always favors brave!” I started driving through flooded waters which were actually roads……and at some difficult spots I thought I was driving through an ocean ….Relentlessly, I proceeded in first gear almost standing on the throttle control and heaved a sigh of relief, when the water level reduced. I thanked God for not getting stuck .when I reached the city telegraph office it had a deserted look and in a remote corner, two clerks were snoozing away to glory. I did not disturb their blissful dreams. I went forward and observed that  the huge board was  displaying all the telegraphic codes in darkness, all the other lights were merrily glowing. I once again patted myself for carrying a torch with me….switched it “ON“ and started scanning messages. The mystery of the elusive “number five” was solved when I saw          “MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY” against this code. All my tension got washed away and suddenly I did not know what to do…… Something that sounded like Ah! or Oh emitted from my vocal chords..Then I scratched my head thinking about the day and I realized that exactly fifteen years ago, I was married on this same date. ..It was a pleasant discovery!!!….. I was moved! I was rather lost, when a stray cat almost touched me…perhaps wanting to assure me that I was not all alone.

While I was returning home, driving on a clean and empty road, a chilled wind was blowing as if to remind me time and again, that I was missing my dear wife on that special day!

---- R J Phansalkar

Jan 12,1996

2085 sector 9 .Faridabad .121006

Busy People

Most people pretend that they are busy when actually they are not. Not all but most...

In the good old days, only the very important dignified persons used to be busy. Things have however changed now! Going by today’s standards, “All those who claim to be busy are considered to be important people”. However, these ‘self proclaimed busy’ people don’t have any dignity. Lately there is an incredible increase in the number of ‘busy’ people. This is so, not because these people are hard working or dedicated to their tasks but because they have developed immaculate skills in displaying that they are always engrossed in some important activity. Since remaining busy has become a ‘symbol of dignity’ people liberally state that they are ‘busy’. In the process these people not only waste their own time and energy but actively contribute in wasting others’ time as well. Unfortunately, they don’t realize that at least half the energy on the earth would be saved if only they stop claiming to be busy and start offering their cooperation, instead.

The other day, I had some work in the Provident Fund (PF) office. I have a friend there who has mastered the art of remaining busy, without any work. He has a habit of advertising that he is a very busy person. To endorse this belief he always opens his diary and scribbles something in it which he himself is not able to read later on. He religiously does this before committing anything to anyone. Visiting such a busy personality without prior appointment would have been quite an injudicious act. Therefore obviously I gave him a ring before my visit to his office.And lo behold - To my delight his phone was not busy and I got connected! Trying to be as brief as possible, I came directly to the point and asked “ Will you please spare 15 minutes?.I have some work in your office.“ I had almost begged. There was long silence… but I was least perturbed as I knew he must be scrutinizing his diary. Finally, I heard him reply “No…no, not today! I am very busy…why don’t you give me ring this afternoon to check when I could be available for you“ …..I explained to my friend the urgency and importance of my work but he turned a deaf ear to all my requests. And before I could plead further, the line was abruptly disconnected.

 I did not give up so easily. Despite his denial, I drove all the way to his office which was about 8 kilometers away from mine….parked my car, discovered that the lift was not working, hence trudged up all those 66 steps of what seemed like a never-ending staircase, traced the whereabouts of my friend and wasn’t my peserverence rewarded! I finally found him discussing the “Implications of withdrawing the Indian Peace keeping Force from Sri Lanka” with another equally ‘busy’ colleague! I just about screamed at my friend…With his remarkable ‘managerial

skills’ he gauged my mood and obliged me by delegating my work to one of his subordinates who was busy listening to the commentary of a very important One Day cricket Match. I became the cause of disturbance for yet another ‘busy’ person happiness.Ffinally I got my work done much against their wishes.

In this process I lost 1700 calories of energy that day!

There is yet another funny class of ‘busy’ people . Another friend of mine who belongs to this class is quite a lovable and a harmless chap. He keeps himself busy for at least three hours -reading the news paper. Initially, I thought he is learning to read alphabets . His wife has a similar belief even today after 15 years of their marriage. Later, however I confirmed that he can read in a normal manner. How a married person can spend so much time day after day in reading a news paper is a mystery to me till date! The other harmless people in this class keep themselves busy in playing cards watching an idiot box, reading novels or listening music.

There are broadly three categories of busy people:-Two of them being the ones I just described and the third category is of people who are genuinely ‘busy’. To my delight and surprise I have experienced that this third category of ‘busy’ people is really extremely helpful by nature. Their time is really valuable but they still value that of others. One really tends to lose his patience when at every stage he finds his work getting stuck because of some people who falsely claim they are ‘busy’ …but time and again, one has observed that the real ‘busy’ people show concern . They not only give but also keep appointments. More than the fact that they have keen minds and the intellect to (look beyond the problems posed to them)/ see through the  milestones in case of the problems posed to them, they have a sincere desire to help others. It is this sincere will to help others that makes them even more busy and more popular Lately such busy people have  become a rare breed ! We all need real ‘busy’ people who help others and perhaps we need them badly.

How lively this world would be if only we had more of them amongst us !

R J Phansalkar …Nov1 1995